EPISODE 1: LOVE OR PASSION
WE’RE TAUGHT TO WORK AND SURVIVE, EVEN AT THE COST OF OUR HAPPINESS
WE MUST FIND TIME FOR A LITTLE HAPPINESS
Entry 1: Imprisioned by societies demands
What would you do if you were told you had just one more year to live? After the shock of inevitable death, you’d probably start thinking of how you can make that final year as meaningful as possible, and the last thing you’d probably care to do is work. If you have kids and a spouse, you’d likely want to quit your job to be with the loved ones you’d soon be leaving behind. If you’re single and without dependents, you’d probably reflect on the impulses you’d been too busy and/or broke to engage in (traveling, mountain climbing, bungy jumping, skiing, etc.) and venture out to experience the happiness and thrill you’d only dreamed about. Receiving a death sentence would be the stimuli that catapults many of us to venture out and finally experience life the way we’ve always wanted to; without one, many of us deal with the banal routine of our everyday lives. Why is it that so many of us spend most of our lives letting unsatisfying obligations get in the way of our dreams and happiness?
WE’RE TAUGHT TO WORK AND SURVIVE, EVEN AT THE COST OF OUR HAPPINESS
WE’RE TAUGHT TO DO WHAT IS SAFE, EVEN AT THE COST OF OUR HAPPINESS
We’ve all heard of the black sheep in the family—that member who grows alongside many others, never feeling like they belong, and always feeling the sting of being different and misunderstood. Well, there are also those who grow up in a place that doesn’t feel right for them and doesn’t serve their inner needs. The ideal setting for some people is a quiet, serene atmosphere, where they can focus on themselves, their inner needs, nature and their family. For others, the appropriate place is the city, where they can network, mingle with strangers, make connections, build a career and think of a family later. When a person finds himself living in a place that doesn’t support their likes, passions and inner needs, depression can be the result… they become the black sheep of their environement.
So why do people stay living in those area that are not right for them if all it causes is despondence? Because, despite its many shortcomes, there’s something that that place offers that isn’t easy to walk away from. Sometimes, it is work that prevents a person from moving forward. With the world being as challenging and competitive as it is, most people wouldn’t willingly give up a decent paying job to relocate without guaranteed income flowing in. Many times, it’s family that holds a person back: this could mean staying in a place one has outgrown because it offers a safe environment and good schooling for the kids. It could also mean not moving because of their attachment to their immediate family (mom, dad, siblings, cousins, etc.). Regardless of the reason, it’s not uncommon for people to die near where they were born despite their desire to leave because thoughts of failure often accompany thoughts of leaving, which are typically too great to ignore.
MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE: THE NEED TO SURVIVE TRIUMPHS OVER THE NEED FOR JOY
I consider myself a city boy at heart. I was born in New York City, a place I never grew tired of. But at 11, my family moved to Bluffton, South Carolina, a small town that, despite it’s rapid growth over the last 2 decades, could never compete with New York City in size, culture, excitement or opportunity. I remember turning eighteen, dying to leave Bluffton and relocate to a city. But something kept me from leaving at that time: I can’t remember if it was the love for my family (even though I did feel like that misunderstood, black sheep), my mediocre job, my car payment, or just fear, but for some reason I decided to stay and attend college in Bluffton. I put my yearning for an exciting life aside. I worked, I studied, then I worked some more, because that’s what I thought I needed to do to attain a promising future. At one point, I had a decent paying job, but never the exciting life I wanted and needed to go along with it. Then, as I shifted from one job to another, my scarce finances began to pose a problem. By the time I’d come to my late 20s, no longer able to handle low paying jobs and nearly complete dependency on my family, I knew I’d have to either enter the army or teaching profession.
That was when I moved five hours away to take a job deep in the country of North Carolina. The move brought me little ease and comfort because it was a place I never felt I belonged. I had hopes of moving to a place where I’d meet accepting people of different backgrounds, engaging in dinner dates, weekend outings and perhaps the occasional weekend travel. Finding love would have been welcoming too. Sadly, I spent most of my time alone.
I discovered that the only good thing about the relocation was my job. Not only did working as a teacher offer me three years stability, it put me in alliance with caring and supportive professionals, and made me aware of the hidden passion I had for helping shape the minds of our youth. But, the country, or even the nearest big town that I live in, Wilmington, N.C., has never felt like home. There remained within me the desire to escape my reality, travel abroad and focus on strengthening my Spanish skills.
IT’S SO HARD TO FOLLOW THE HEART
I know I can go in the direction of my dreams and hope everything works out for the best but the cautious, responsible side of me says to take the safe road, find another job teaching and continue my writing on the side. I know that going back home would brighten up my life a little; after all, my family, whom I’ve been distant from for the last 3 years, is there. Still, I’m afraid that returning home now would mean I have to stay for a few years (due to work), and that thought frightens me, as I know Bluffton isn’t exciting enough to captivate me for 3 whole years.
I’m left contemplating a return to Bluffton, or being daring and leaving out of the country where I would have a year’s savings to make my dreams come true. Leaning closer to playing it safe and returning to Bluffton leaves me to wonder: Why do we put our dreams and interests on pause in order to survive when taking the safe road doesn’t promise happiness or satisfaction? Why can’t I just have the strength and courage to follow my heart and live free, as if I were dying?
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